YOUR DUTY TOWARDS YOUR PARENTS

In The Name of ALLAH, Ever Gracious, Ever Merciful.

1.	Your parents are a great asset to you. Your very self, your genes and your blood, your bones are a part of them. Therefore you have a duty towards your parents. If you desire success in this life and in the Hereafter, then act according to the following advice:
2.	Address your parents with respect. Do not speak words of anger or disrespect to them. Do not scold or reproach them, but speak to them with kindness.
3.	Always be obedient to your parents. (So long as they do not order you to act in disobedience to ALLAH and His Messenger.)
4.	Be kind to them and do not frown at them or look at them with anger.
5.	Answer immediately when they call you, with a smiling face, saying: “Yes mother,” or “Yes, father.”
6.	Protect their reputation, honour and property and take nothing from them without their permission. Do not lie to them.
7.	Do that which pleases them, even without their requesting for it, such as serving them, purchasing their daily needs and trying to anticipate them. Be accommodating when dealing with them.
8.	Consult them in all matters pertaining to your home. If you are compelled to ignore their advice, then ask for their forgiveness and pardon.
9.	Be respectful to their friends and their near relatives, both living and deceased. Never criticize or talk against your parents. Always use words of praise for them.
10.	Discuss matters with them with respect and politeness. Try to explain to them politely what is correct. Do not tease them. Do not be overbearing to them.
11.	Do not oppose them or raise your voice at them. Listen to their words and be polite to them.
12.	Whenever your parents enter your room, get up as a mark of respect and honour.
13.	Help your mother and father in the daily household works.
14.	Do not travel or stay out without their knowing about it. If you have no choice, then apologize to them and keep in contact with them.
15.	Do not enter their room without permission, especially when it is time for them to sleep or take rest.
16.	If you are addicted to smoking, then do not smoke in their presence.
17.	Whenever you eat or take refreshments in their presence, do invite them to join you.
18.	Give preference to your parents over all others. Seek their approval in everything.
19.	ALLAH’s pleasure and approval lie in the pleasure and approval of your father; and ALLAH’s displeasure and disapproval lie in father’s displeasure and disapproval.
20.	Do not sit at a higher place than them and do not arrogantly extend your legs towards them.
21.	Do not show pride in comparing your position with that of your father, even if you have a very important job. Parents have run their race. Do not hurt them directly or indirectly even by a single word.
22.	For your build up, for your education and for your well-being and comfort they had denied many things to themselves. They denied and sacrificed many of their urges and desires, comforts and pleasures only to build your future at the cost of their own sacrifices. You can never repay them for their sacrifices. You cannot count the parental favours towards you.
23.	Do not be miserly in providing for them, causing them to complain to you, for this would be very shameful for you; and you will see it reflected in future in the behaviour of your children. You will reap what you will sow.
24.	Visit your parents frequently and bring them gifts. Thank and praise them for caring for you, and for bringing you up with love, care and ambition—fighting many odds in their lives. Their favours upon you cannot be counted. Never try to enumerate your obligations towards them. The balance will always tilt in their favour. You owe a huge debt of gratitude to them. Is there any return for good other than good?
25.	Try to seek their blessings by all possible means and show deep gratitude to ALLAH and to them. Do good deeds both financially and physically to please them.
26. Mother is more deserving of your love, respect and care than your father. Remember, Paradise lies under the feet of your mother. She fought for your welfare and well being the bravest battles, in suffering and in pain, that were ever fought in the world. And remember in any language there are no sweeter words than “mother, my loving mother”.
27.	Your parents are the best amongst all the finest peoples of the world. When you fell down it was they who ran to pick you up, hugged you and caressed you all over your tearful face. You were and you are their pride. Their wish for your well-being is eternal.
28.	Their old age has now brought suffering, pain and frailty in their body and limbs. So be ever helpful and a source of strength to them physically in every possible way.
29.	Kiss those golden hands which have gone wrinkled and tired and which have done so much for your welfare over the years, and years and years.
30.	Kiss the dear silver that now glitters in the sparsely hair of their heads.
31.	Admire, revere and honour their furrowed foreheads, which must have bowed down in prayer for you a thousand, nay a million times.
32.	Honour and revere their wrinkled and furrowed faces which have gone aged, old and withered with time.
33.	Parents are always the parents. Their love will follow you wherever you are in the world. They are the holiest people in the world.
34.	You owe to them a thousand sincere thanks with a deep sense of gratitude. Always look after them and always pray for them.
35.	And remember what you are or what you hope to be, you owe it all to the prayers of your loving parents.
36.	Now let us see what Qur’aan says in this respect:-
(a)	Surah Bani Israeel 17:23- “Allah has decreed that you worship none but HIM. And that you be kind to patents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your lifetime. Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them. But address them terms of honour.”
(b)	Surah Ankaboot 29:8— “ALLAH has enjoined on man to do good to his parents. But if they force you to associate with ALLAH another (deity) whom you do not know, then, you should not obey them. For you all have to return to ALLAH and then ALLAH will tell you what you had been doing.”
(c)	Surah Luqtnaan 31:14- “And ALLAH has enjoined on man to recognize the rights of his parents. I-us mother bore him in her womb with weakness upon weakness. And his weaning took two years. Show gratitude to ALLAH and to your parents. (Know that) You have to return to ALLAH.
(d)	Surah AI-Ahqaaf 46:15— “ALLAH has enjoined on man to treat his parents with kindness. His mother bore him with pain and she gave him birth with trouble. His bearing and his weaning took thirty months until when he attained his full strength and became forty years old. He says- 0 my Rabb! Grant me the grace that I may thank YOU for the favours that YOU have bestowed upon me and upon both my parents. Amid that I should work such good deeds as may please YOU. And my children should also do good deeds to comfort me. Truly, I have turned to YOU in repentance, amid truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to YOUR will).”
(e)	Surah Al—Ahqaaf 46:17— Do not say to your parents— “Fie upon you both!     
37.	My advice to you is that you should thank and love your parents, respect them, look after them and pray for them. If you have done wrong, then repent, and seek ALLAH’s forgiveness for ALLAH is Ever Gracious, Ever Merciful.

“Wa man ‘alainaaa il lal balaa ghul mubcen”
(And our duty is only to deliver the clear message)
(Surah Yaa Seeeen 36:17)
	
lqbal Begum and
Abdul Waheed Khan

36/A South Central Av.	
D.H.A. Karachi—75500